


Candy and Gin

by kayethespade



Series: The Adventures of Alicia Shepard [19]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayethespade/pseuds/kayethespade
Summary: Shepard tries to cope with being a civilian again. It does not go well. This takes place in between ME2 and ME3. Now with a second chapter!





	1. Chapter 1

Shepard saw what alcohol did to people during her time in the Tenth Street Reds. She smuggled contraband into platoons on occasion, and sometimes they would get violent if they thought they were being shorted. Sometimes they were, sometimes they weren’t. Either way, she put their asses in the dirt so fast that some of the others would tip a little extra. Fine by her. She needed the money. 

When she met mamá, Shepard promised she would never touch alcohol again. There were times when she didn’t stay completely true to that promise, but Shepard knew her limits. Knew not to test them. 

For some reason, after she was grounded and stripped of her rank, everything seemed to fall away. She didn’t have to set an example for her crew. She didn’t have to get up the next day and go kill geth. She still had her military pension. She was still an advisor on…sensitive matters. She could afford to let go once in a while. 

Or every night. Into the day. Every few hours. Just to keep from shaking. A little more. A little more. A lot more. All that she could get. 

Anderson cut her off. Cold-turkey. She did things she never thought she could bring herself to do. Things that she had stopped when she left the gang. Things her muscles still remembered, even in her addled state. 

She woke up in a hospital bed. Anderson looked up from his magazine with a hard line in his lips. Shepard couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye. She took a deep breath and reached over for the glass at her bedside. Disappointment flashed across her face before she finally downed the glass of water. 

“How long was I out?” she asked, as though discussing the weather. Always nice. Always sunny. 

“Two weeks,” Anderson replied. 

A silence stretched between them. Shepard didn’t want to talk about any of this. Especially not with a person she respected so much. Had letting it get this far been a personal act of disrespect? Probably. Shepard couldn’t forgive herself for that. 

“I hadn’t realized it had gotten that bad, Shepard. I’m sorry,” he began. 

“It’s not your fault. I-“ 

“Don’t let anyone make you believe it was your fault either, Alicia. They’ve kept you cooped up here for too long, and now, they know it,” Anderson interrupted. 

Shepard looked down at her hands. No shakes. Huh. “Does this mean I’ll be able to at least wander around town without a military escort?” 

“For now, yes. Don’t step out of line. Don’t go to any clubs. Other than that, you’re mostly free. Hourly check-ins via omnitool,” he explained. 

“Thank you, Anderson. I’ll try not to make you regret this,” she promised. 

Anderson nodded and headed to the front desk to sign her out. Shepard knew this wouldn’t be the end of this, but it was a start.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after ME3 and after the events of Occupational Therapy. Shepard's trying to cope with her alcohol addiction, but just can't seem to find a mechanism that works for her.

Shepard snuck her way back into the apartment on the Citadel, the lock clicking subtly behind her. She hoped that she could get to bed before either of her-…Thane was sitting on the couch facing the front door. He looked up from a book he’d been reading, staring at her for a moment. She tried to remain calm. 

“You’re home late,” he said. Acid. Fire. Gunshot. Anything was better than the absolute disappointment in his voice. 

“I promise. It’s not what it looks like,” Shepard began. 

“Really.” Cold. Poison. 

“I was at an alcoholics anonymous meet-up,” she said. Shame racketed its way up her spine and neck, leaving her looking like a pitiful version of herself. A ghost. Thane softened. 

He stood up and walked over to her, taking her hands into his. She couldn’t look at him. “Siha,” he whispered. Gently. As though afraid if he spoke any louder that he’d frighten her away. “Why didn’t you tell us you are struggling with this?” 

A shuddering sigh ran through her. “It’s my problem, and I needed to deal with it my own way. Having you and Garrus looking over my shoulder would feel like the people I love are judging my progress. That’s uncomfortable to say the least.” 

“Alicia, you should know better than anyone that I have no room for judgement. I’m glad that you are seeking the help that you need. Would you like to tell me about the people you’ve met through this group?” Thane said. He led her over to the couch. She sat down next to them, only holding his hand. 

“I opted for a veterans-only group. A lot of them were surprised to see me there. You know, admiral position and all. I couldn’t really tell if it made them more comfortable or more formal. I’ve never exactly been good at that type of judging for human emotion, though I have gotten a bit more used to turian, asari, and drell cues. For the five or six of them, I could tell that they knew what it was like. I felt like someone finally understood what I was going through,” Shepard retold. She let the words hang in the air for a moment. Alarm flashed onto her face. 

“Not to say that you and Garrus don’t understand me. It’s just that-“ 

“Siha. It’s alright. I received no such impression. You have your unique experiences, and it appears these have aligned with the people you met. I am happy for you,” he explained. She leaned against his shoulder. 

“The moderator talked to me afterwards. He told me that my story was an inspiration. Bit of an exaggeration, if you ask me, but it was still nice to have other people identify with my story,” Shepard sighed. Sleep weighed on her more heavily, and she began to yawn. 

“Is it alright if I take you to bed?” he asked. Shepard nodded. 

“Carry me, please?” 

“Of course,” Thane answered. She straddled him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He stood up and walked her into their bedroom, setting her back down beside Garrus. His eyelid fluttered for a moment. He groaned and pulled Shepard to his chest. Shepard accepted this as Thane placed an arm over both her and Garrus. She yawned one more time before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.


End file.
